sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
