I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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