Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
