I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
