Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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