By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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