I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
