At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
