Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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