Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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