just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
