Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
