i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
