I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
