It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
