You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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