i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Randomize
