Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize