I'm pants shitting drunk right now
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
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