is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
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