He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
