Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
