It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Randomize