Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
