how can u be prego again
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Randomize
