I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
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