I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Randomize
