Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
