im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize