How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
