do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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