It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
