dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
