he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Randomize
