Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
