i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Randomize
