Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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