We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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