it's not cheating when I paid for it
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
