idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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