belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
You are the jesus of drinking
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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