Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize