Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
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