Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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