can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
