So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize