I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
