I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
