used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
