We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
