Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
