I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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