Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
