We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
