I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
i need some magic done to my vagina
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
