thus making me awesome and them whores
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I believe in your delicious
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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