batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Randomize
