do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Randomize
